It Came From Lewiston

>> Thursday, January 24, 2008

This is a picture of a blob.

Removed from context, you might think it's coming to eat you. Or at least a group of plucky teenagers in your neighborhood. But it isn't: this fifty foot long blob is doing nothing more exciting than blocking a 12"-wide sewer pipe in Lewiston, Maine.

(Except... hold on: as it happens, I've read a lot of books about Maine by their foremost native resident, and based on this extensive research.... no! Run, citizens of Lewiston, run! Get out of the state! Oh... oh no... please, no... I hope it's not too late! Oh, the humanity....)


Right, so there's this yeasty blob blocking a sewer pipe in Lewiston. Very, very mysterious. What could it be? Some strange industrial pollution? Some bizarre microbial colony, perhaps pumped up to frightening size by farm runoff? If only there were a clue we might pursue. Suppose we pore over the article in the Lewiston Sun Journal to see if we might find some hint, like Sherlock Holmes at the beginning of a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story, reading the account of some puzzling affair in the Times of London aloud to Watson:
...the blockage affects six Main Street businesses between Bates and Blake streets - Wolf Eye Associates, the United Baptist Church, Sam's Italian Foods, Classy Lady Boutique, PEG Associates and Pro-Print. No private dwellings are affected. Representatives from most of the businesses said Wednesday they had no problems with their sewer systems. A Sam's employee wouldn't comment on the situation. Executives from the restaurant, which serves pizza among other dishes, couldn't be reached for comment Wednesday night.

No, afraid not. Nothing there at all. Not a hint. Hm. Maybe there's some further clue in the description of the mysterious substance:
City crews discovered the clog earlier this month after responding to complaints of blocked sewer lines downtown. [Public Services Director David] Jones said crews opened a manhole at the Bates Street intersection and saw the clog - an oozing, white blob that looks like uncooked dough.

Dammit! Still nothing!

I'm afraid this mystery may never be solved. Ah well, even Holmes found a few nuts that were too tough to crack. Maybe the truth of this matter will be uncovered at some point in the distant future (perhaps due to some unanticipated development in the forensic sciences), but I have little hope that there's any chance of figuring this one out.


Jeri Friday, January 25, 2008 at 12:27:00 AM EST  

Ewww. That makes my own occasional clogged sink seem completely inconsequential.

It's probably a larva. Yeah, a sewage-eating life form that will metamorphose into something that will ravage our cities and take Hollywood by storm.

MWT Friday, January 25, 2008 at 4:10:00 PM EST  

The eatery employee wouldn't comment about something that looks like uncooked dough? Hmm! The plot thickens?

Post a Comment

Thank you for commenting! Because of the evils of spam, comments on posts that are more than ten days old will go into a moderation queue, but I do check the queue and your comment will (most likely) be posted if it isn't spam.

Another proud member of the UCF...

Another proud member of the UCF...
UCF logo ©2008 Michelle Klishis international gang of... international gang of...
смерть шпионам!

...Frank Gorshin-obsessed bikers.

...Frank Gorshin-obsessed bikers.
GorshOn! ©2009 Jeff Hentosz

  © Blogger template Werd by 2009

Back to TOP