I still think I'm being funny...

>> Thursday, October 02, 2008

Just in case anybody cares:


What is most likely to end life on Earth as we know it?



What does this tell us about the vast readership of Standing On The Shoulders Of Giant Midgets? One obvious inference is that only a paltry tenth of a percent of my readers actually cared enough to vote. Or, more likely, that nearly half of my readers engaged in ballot-stuffing before they (or he or she) got tired of reloading the page and clicking on "Sarah Palin."

I kid! I love you guys! All twenty of you. Or possibly just my mom who voted twenty times and chose different options to make me feel good about myself. And I do! I feel like someone who will shortly be announcing my victory in a debate I haven't participated in yet!

Right, but no, really, what else can we conclude? Given my belief that the folks who are kind enough to come around are smarter than the average bear, so to speak, and are interested in science and nerdy stuff, I think it's fair to also conclude that whichever reader is frightened by gay porn probably needs his or her eyes checked. I know the poll, which was hosted by Blogger, appeared in a very small font. Nonetheless....

Lastly: one reader suggested I was pulling for Governor Palin to win this poll. I declined to opine because I did want to see how things would shake out. And I am pleased to say--and truly, I do love y'all, and this is an example of why--that my favorite won by a 3:2 margin. There is (hopefully, knock on wood) no way Governor Palin will be President Palin (great... I think I just chose the form of The Destroyer... sorry, gang), and the Large Hadron Collider isn't a danger to anything bigger than subatomic particles moving at luminous velocities. But Vogons? We've been warned about those Vogons, and their foul tempers and worse poetry, and how they treat their own grandmothers. Paranoia and politics shift with the wind, but the brilliance that was Douglas Adams is eternal and solid as stone. My Dad can vouch for this: I mentioned the poll the day before it started and told him I hoped Vogons would win. And they did. Thank you, all of you, for being my brothers and sisters in nerdy arms.

5 comments:

Tania Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 12:34:00 AM EDT  

As I have said elsewhere - we're used to you being funny.

But my cats and I are still holding with my governor bringing on the apocalypse.

Eric Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 12:52:00 AM EDT  

Well, I did forget to mention Vince's hypothesis: that Governor Palin is a Vogon--so Vogons and President Palin may not have been exclusive choices.

Speaking of Palin and bad poets: Slate's collection of Governor Palin's poetry is very much worth checking out. She's not nearly as brilliant as D.H. Rumsfeld. "You Can't Blink" and "On Reporters" are nice early pieces, but Ms. Palin has nothing on Rumsfeldian masterpieces like "The Unknown" and "Glass Box." You should still check out her work, though. Even Vince should, despite the fact he said he didn't want to.

vince Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 9:07:00 AM EDT  

I Can Haz Vice President?

I got rid of a few things
in the governor’s office
That luxury jet was over the top.
I put it on eBay.
I also drive myself to work.

They're our next-door neighbors
and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska
from an island in Alaska
As Putin rears his head
and comes into the air space
of the United States of America
where do they go?
It's Alaska

Specific examples
in his 26 years of pushing
for more regulation?
I'll try to find you some
and I'll bring them to you.

Starting in January
we’re going to lay more pipelines
build more new-clear plants
I think God's will
has to be done
in unifying people
and companies
to get that gas line built
so pray for that.

But as for that V.P. talk
all the time
I'll tell you
I still can't
answer that question
until somebody answers for me
what is it
exactly
that the V.P. does every day?

mattw Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 9:16:00 AM EDT  

Yahoo! Yahoo for science and nerdiness!

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