Good news and bad news

>> Monday, December 08, 2008

Good news: my IMDB page finally has an update after eleven years.

Bad news: my STARmeter is down 61% since last week.

NOOOOOOO! I cannot believe that an arbitrary and inscrutable relative rating system shows a 61% decline in relevance to a field I don't actively participate in very much! No! No! No! I will not accept it. Maybe if I refresh....

NOOOOOOO! It's still there! ↓61%! Sixty-one percent! I am shocked! Shocked! And my name is still misspelled (a little)! Down sixty-one percent and one letter is still not capitalized--it can't be. It cannot be. I will cover my eyes and reluctantly ALT-TAB over. Maybe I misread....

NOOOOOOO!

The misery! The shame! Down 61% in a ratings system nobody even pretends to understand! My nonexistant film career is ruined, ruined I tell you.

A black cloud hovers o'er my remaining days on this bleak Earth for this. I will ne'er hold my head high again amongst the fair proud folk of my homeland.1



1NOOOOOOO!

14 comments:

vince Monday, December 8, 2008 at 12:40:00 PM EST  

Still, you do have an IMDB page. That's pretty cool. Now I know two semi-famous people who work/have worked in the film industry.

Or maybe that's infamous.

Nathan Monday, December 8, 2008 at 3:06:00 PM EST  

Hah! Not only am I "up" 43%, I've got your ass beat by approximately 1,660,000 points.

BooYah!

Ilya Monday, December 8, 2008 at 3:46:00 PM EST  

Echoing Vince, I'm pretty impressed that you have an IMDB page. How come you dropped out after a single movie?

Jeri Monday, December 8, 2008 at 4:52:00 PM EST  

I know three people who have IMDB pages. That must make me a total groupie.

Nathan Monday, December 8, 2008 at 5:57:00 PM EST  

Most people I know have an IMDB page.

:D

Eric Monday, December 8, 2008 at 7:13:00 PM EST  

Ilya: I was never really in. The first movie was a summer job I got from my then-stepmom and the second movie is me helping out a friend.

Nathan: just you wait 'til I do a third movie! I'm just holding back and then I'm going to totally catch up and lap you!

Eric Monday, December 8, 2008 at 11:38:00 PM EST  

Nathan: ewwwwwww.

No, seriously. I'm pretty sure for both of us.

mattw Tuesday, December 9, 2008 at 1:40:00 PM EST  

Maybe you should go and read Nathan's post about 8 things they didn't teach you in film school. Go on. Take notes.

Eric Tuesday, December 9, 2008 at 2:26:00 PM EST  

Matt: I already saw Nathan's lesson, but I'm calling Wagner Rules on the whole thing, which means I am now made out of awesome and immune from all attempts of deawesomification by references to expertise made by qualified individuals. In support of my Wagner call, let me point out that I was a PA on a movie, painted a set and took pictures of the filming on another movie, and have read a number of books and magazines about movies including several novelizations (most memorably those of Alan Dean Foster).

I think one of my new Oscars™ will go in the guest bathroom and the other one on top of the gas fireplace in the living room....

Carol Elaine Tuesday, December 9, 2008 at 3:03:00 PM EST  

Eric, I guess I have to call Wagner Rules, because my experience being a TV and independent short film extra, working as an audience page for sitcoms, doing make-up and wardrobe for a couple of independent short films all mean that I am supremely qualified to run both a TV network and a film studio. I also once almost ran over Dennis Franz with my car on the NYPD Blue set while working as an extra, which counts as stunt work, which means I can now be the head of the stuntman's union.

All of that without an IMDb page. I win!

(Several of my friends have IMDb pages, as does my boyfriend. But I live in Los Angeles, so I think it's the law or something.)

Eric Tuesday, December 9, 2008 at 4:20:00 PM EST  

Hell yeah, Carol Elaine! You're totally in my movie now!

Nathan, professional question: how many millions of dollars do you think I can get budgeted for my movie with Carol Elaine? I think at least $40 million, but my gut says I ought to ask for $60M.

Nathan Tuesday, December 9, 2008 at 11:23:00 PM EST  

Well, Carole Elaine is clearly bankable as all git-out, but I think you're missing something. If you think it's going to cost 40mil to make the pic, then you should face reality and realize that it will actually cost 70mil. Ask for 100. Say it's for those really cool one-shot coffees. No Executive would fail to see the logic.

Put it all on the screen (I don't know what that really means since coffee flung at the screen makes it look kinda shitty.

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