Looking back and feeling bushed

>> Saturday, December 13, 2008

One of the things you do as the nights get longer and colder and the year slides off to its inevitable end, is you look back on things and ponder what you have to be thankful for and what you have to look forward to. And this is a part of these year-end celebrations we have, and beginning of the new.

One of the things we have to look forward to is that there are only about five weeks left of the Bush Presidency. Presumably. I mean, okay, the more imaginative of us might ponder what would happen if the President Of The United States tried a coup to remain in power after his second term was supposed to end, but it happens that President Bush may be the first President in American history for whom that is guaranteed not to happen; even if he found a general who was willing to be seen in public with him long enough to form a military junta, it's pretty obvious President Bush is ready to slouch off to Dallas as quickly as he possibly can. And why not? He's sort of wrecked up the place pretty well. He's probably hoping nobody calls his dad to complain.

Still, there are those who will say that Bush wasn't the worst President ever. And this is true: the worst President ever was that guy who knelt before Zod. But in terms of real Presidents, yes, there are those who are eager to defend President Bush's terms in office as he gets ready to ride off into the sunset.

As a helpful and handy reference guide, 23/6 has offered an interactive "Defending Bush's Legacy-O-Tron. And I have to admit, it makes a point. For instance, I was able to generate this perfectly true paragraph:

Okay, okay, okay. So maaaaaybe he wasn't our best president.

But the guy did one or two okay things, right? Sure, he had his bad moments. Like, Katrina. And yeah, there were a bunch of snafus, like those times Rumsfeld made decisions. But there are a few bright spots, right? I mean, during his two terms, the American people were never on fire all at once. Right? Could'a happened but didn't. And by bringing our country down a few notches, people want to bomb us less. They think Al Qaeda already did the job. I dare say Bush loved this country more than most other Presidents, which is why he decided to destroy our constitution so no one will be able to steal it. Think about how you are today compared to eight years ago. Are you more aware of the legal and illegal ways a president can wiretap citizens? You can thank Bush for that knowledge. He's did more to teach people about the legal limitations of the office of the president than any social studies teacher ever did.

Now, sure, if you press me to name one Bush policy that ended up benefiting this country, I'll say that I know some but I'm not gonna tell you because you're being a dick. But if you press me to think of one good thing that's come of the Bush Presidency? That's easy: Jeb can't run for president now.

See? You can defend the Bush years. Go check it out.


mattw Monday, December 15, 2008 at 3:41:00 PM EST  

What an accurate, yet depressing, set of facts you've got there.

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