Classic cinema!!!

>> Tuesday, April 07, 2009

My buddy Nate did a meme on April Fool's Day that I might as well join in, despite the fact that it shows I am woefully behind in the "classic" cinema I've seen. Here we go:

The Most Awesomest Movies Ever Meme
Hey, everyone else is doing these long list memes based on entertainment! Just mark an X next to the movies you've seen:

Great Performances of the Last Century

[x] The Devil's Advocate (Keanu Reeves)
[x] Alone in the Dark (Tara Reid)
[ ] Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (Jon Voight)
[x] House of the Dead (Jurgen Prochnow)
[ ] Ice Cream Man (Clint Howard)

Best Direction in the World

[ ] Zodiac Killer (Ulli Lommel)
[x] Bloodrayne (Uwe Boll)
[ ] Troll 2 (Claudio Fragasso)
[ ] Semi-Pro (Kent Alterman)
[ ] Cutthroat Island (Renny Harlin)

Best Accents Ever

[ ] Con-Air (Nicolas Cage)
[x] Bram Stoker's Dracula (any of the cast, really)
[x] Much Ado About Nothing (Keanu Reeves)
[x] Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (Kevin Costner)
[x] Highlander (Christopher Lambert)

Best Movies of All Time, Undisputed

[x] Highlander 2: The Quickening
[x] Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
[x] Robot Monster
[x] Manos: The Hands of Fate
[ ] The Rich Man's Wife

Two brief points in defense of my spotty cinematic education. First: what, no entry for "Best Set Design"? Because Black Samurai would completely PWNZ0R that category--as would any other movie in which the villain's secret lair has prominent fire exit signs posted over all the doors. And second: I claim the privilege and distinction of being the reason Nate was able to check off the box for Robot Monster, thank you very much. Me. I did that. To him. And I'm proud.

So, how many movies on the list have you seen? And what nominees should have been included that didn't make the cut (aside from Battlefield Earth and anything from Mr. Wood--let's not make this too easy).


mattw Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 7:43:00 AM EDT  

I've seen six of those, half of them are from the Best Accents category.

How could Highlander not have gotten an Oscar for a Scotsman flawlessly playing a Spaniard?

And for best accents, where's Warwick Davis' nomination for Leprechaun?

Janiece Murphy Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:22:00 AM EDT  

I've only seen four of those movies. Does that mean I'm pretentious?

Ilya Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 9:28:00 AM EDT  

Only Con-Air and Robin Hood for me - and I was not even aware that either Cage or Costner were attempting accents in either...

I suppose being a relative baby when it comes to Western cinema knowledge has its unexpected benefits. :)

John the Scientist Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 11:02:00 AM EDT  

Only "Con Air" and "Highlander" for me.

But the totally worst accent in the world was Arnold's while playing a Russian. Though Harrison Ford playing a Russian was not too far behind.

If Ilya hasn't seen that one, he should. :D

Anonymous,  Thursday, April 9, 2009 at 11:52:00 AM EDT  

The funny thing is, I think Troll 2 may be my least favorite film on that list. It's probably the worst film I've ever seen. Ever.

I wrote up that meme in about five minutes in retaliation against the many memes my Livejournal friends were posting - by all means, feel free to add to it!

Eric Thursday, April 9, 2009 at 12:26:00 PM EDT  

And yet now I feel this bizarre compulsion to add Troll 2 to my CafeDVD queue--especially if it's the worst film Nate's ever seen Nate's practically a walking cinema encyclopedia who's possibly seen ever good, bad or ugly film ever made (including, naturally, The Good, The Bad And The Ugly, but who hasn't seen that?): if Troll 2 is the worst film he's ever seen, it must be gawdfuckingawful.

There's an education to be had from awful films, by the way. Much of what we tend to call bad is merely mediocre. You see something truly terrible, on the other hand, it really lets you get a better calibration on the differences between inept, merely competent, and skilled filmmaking.

Hence, anyone who really cares about movies ought to occasionally rent something like Robot Monster or Death Bed. (Actually, of those two, let me push Monster just because the pacing on Bed is so plodding it's a better insomnia cure than holding a plastic bag over your head for several minutes, and because Monster at least has an endearingly awful title character, while the title character in Death Bed never fully lives up to its name--it's more like "Death Bed: The Bed That Occasionally Slowly Absorbs People Who Sit On It Or Try To Have Sex On It And Then Unconvincingly Partially Disintegrates Them, Oh And Sometimes Inanimate Objects That Someone Put On The Bed, Too". A movie with a title like Death Bed: The Bed That Eats really ought to have something with teeth that chases screaming teenage girls while making a ridiculous gnashing sound, but I guess they didn't have the budget for a bed-sized puppet and had to settle for a weak aquarium shot. Oh well.)

Carol Elaine Thursday, April 9, 2009 at 5:19:00 PM EDT  

Eric, it sounds like your friend Nate and CuteFilmNerd are twins separated at birth - CFN is a veritable walking movie encyclopedia who has an affection for explotation/Z movies. He swears he's going to get me to see Gore Gore Girls or Cannibal Holocaust one of these days - I tell him it's never going to happen.

(Wanna see a bad movie? Check out Boarding House. The only reason I've seen any of it is because CFN is one of the commentary moderators. Man, it makes the movies in your meme look like freaking 2001.)

Carol Elaine Thursday, April 9, 2009 at 5:21:00 PM EDT  

BTW, I've seen four of those movies in your meme. Kevin Costner and Keanu Reeves should totally start an accent school.

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