Fall Of The Python

>> Thursday, October 15, 2009

I hate to be a corporate shill for free, but those of you with satellite radio may be interested in knowing (if you don't already) that SiriusXM will be turning Sirius 105 into the All-Monty-Python-All-The-Time station for ten days starting October 16th at 10 a.m. EST. (The XM equivalent may vary; check the website.)

For those of you who aren't satellite subscribers, Sirius does offer a 7-day online trial, although I don't know if it requires you to sign a contract and cancel it or go through some other onerous process reminiscent of AOL in the '90s. (Back in the mid-'90s, I used AOL for ten minutes before deciding it couldn't offer me anything, and then spent the next two-and-a-half months trying to cancel it. True story, typical and banal though it may be.)

Alternatively, you may already own tons of Python on CD, MP3, tape or even vinyl, and may simply prefer to put that on in honor of the troupe's 40th anniversary. Hey, whatever floats your lifeboat full of cannibalistic Royal Navy shipwreck survivors, eh?

A DISCLAIMER FROM THE MANAGEMENT: Some people may mistake this post for an endorsement and attempt to listen to the Monty Python station warned-of above. The proprietor of Standing On The Shoulders Of Giant Midgets would hate for any ill-informed readers of this blog to suffer as the crew of the Nostromo does in the male-written/male-directed/womyn-starring science-fiction rape fantasy Alien, who discover to their chagrin that a "beacon" radio signal is in fact a warning to stay clear of a hostile planet.

Monty Python was a comedic troupe who performed live and recorded comedy in various formats. Said attempts at "comedy" frequently involved unflattering portrayals of:

religious groups
ethnic groups
persons with disabilities
the French
political parties
John Denver
the military
persons with eating disorders
organized criminals
the elderly
infants and children
talk-show hosts
comedy writers

Much of Python's "comedy" involved cross-dressing, and was therefore per se transparently transphobic or possibly homophobic. Regrettably, it also has to be pointed out that Python's membership consisted entirely of upper-class white XYs and therefore their alleged "humor" is only reflective of the ways in which their lives of privilege (or "priviledge," as the cognoscenti call it) allows them to make cruel, malicious, harmful, selfish, insensitive jokes at the expense of the underclass.

There is, quite simply, no other way to interpret any of Monty Python's material except to conclude that they are hateful, homophobic bigots, even the late Graham Chapman, who was clearly either a self-hating queer or possibly sleeping with men only in a vain, futile effort to conceal his oppressive heterosexuality and fill the empty void caused by his masculinity and whiteness.

Therefore, under no circumstances should any human being ever listen to the Monty Python station or attempt to view any of Monty Python's television shows or films, which should all be banned with the exception of The Life Of Brian, which should only be viewed for the scenes making fun of Jesus and the rest fast-forwarded through or skipped over.

Should you wish to know what horrors this travesty of an insult of an injury of a satellite radio channel is purveying, however, feel free to ask: the proprietor of this blog shall be listening to this station quite a bit on his way to and from work so as to know what kinds of filth passes through the minds of such unfunny and humorless cultural oppressors.

I assure you, however, I won't be laughing.

Not even a tiny little bit.


Leanright,  Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 6:36:00 PM EDT  

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay. I'll be tuning in, every...day.

Leanright,  Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 6:39:00 PM EDT  

My favorite MP Exchange of all time.

STAN: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.

FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan?

STAN: I want to be one.

REG: What?

STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

REG: What?!

LORETTA: It's my right as a man.

JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?

LORETTA: I want to have babies.

REG: You want to have babies?!

LORETTA: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

REG: But... you can't have babies.

LORETTA: Don't you oppress me.

REG: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! -- Where's the fetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

LORETTA: [crying]

JUDITH: Here! I-- I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.

FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.

REG: What's the point?


REG: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!

FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Carol Elaine Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 7:07:00 PM EDT  

Spectator I: I think it was "Blessed are the cheesemakers".

Mrs. Gregory: Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers?

Gregory: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

Carol Elaine Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 7:10:00 PM EDT  

I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

Konstantin B. Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 8:07:00 PM EDT  

Ah, damn. Now I won't be able to get this song out of my head for a week.

Everybody now...

Always, look on the bright side of live. (leaves whistling)

Nathan Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 9:10:00 PM EDT  

Brilliant post Eric,

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying.

Random Michelle K Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 10:42:00 PM EDT  

Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Nathan Friday, October 16, 2009 at 10:07:00 PM EDT  

"Ah, no, no. My name is spelt 'Luxury Yacht' but it's pronounced 'Throatwobbler Mangrove'".

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