I am technologically useful!

>> Wednesday, October 14, 2009

No, really, I am! I took the quiz to prove it! The Universe As features this online quiz of ten questions: if you time-traveled back two thousand years, how far could you jump-start civilization? I got eight out of ten right, and therefore could advance civilization from "year 0" (I presume the author means Year One) to the Seventeenth or maybe even the Nineteenth Centuries. (Nothing much of technological import having happened, of course, during the 1700s, as everybody knows.)

But the way I see it, that's good enough. I mean, I figure when I show up in Rome at the head of a conquering legion of steam-powered tanks, the last thing Augustus Caesar is going to say is, "Yeah, well you obviously don't know how to build a diesel engine, so, like, you suck and stuff!" No, he will be too busy pissing his tunic when I come to bury him, not to praise him. Unless "Suck it, Augustus, your month doesn't even have any holidays!" is some kind of weird praise in Latin. I don't think it is. I may have to ask my friend who's pretty fluent in it.

Anyway, if you see some kind of temporal vortex or wormhole, let me know. If I'm as big a badass as the internet just said I am, I am totally selling out to the Han or somebody cooler than the fucking Romans. Fuck them. Nothing personal, Western Civilization could just use a kick in the ass or something.


(H/T to Kottke.org!)


7 comments:

Dr. Phil (Physics) Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 12:57:00 AM EDT  

Yup. Technologically useful.

But I knew that before I took the quiz. (grin)

Steampunk lives!

Dr. Phil

Jeri Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 1:35:00 AM EDT  

You know, I kind of like modern living. I enjoy my women's rights, daily hot shower, coffee lattes, car and google-enabled information superhighway lifestyle.

While the frontier lifestyle does hold some allure, I'm not so sure I want to wash laundry by hand, wear dresses daily, travel by horse or foot, be unable to work outside the home...

But if it's a vortex you're looking for, try bush Alaska. :/

Eric Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 8:48:00 AM EDT  

Jeri, all of those things are why it's good to be technologically useful. Stuck in the first millenium and don't want to wash clothes? Build a washing machine.

By which, of course, I mean a forty-foot tall steam-powered clothes-washing robot that doubles as a siege engine.

Which, incidentally, would go a long way towards solving those women's lib issues....

FIRST CENTURY CRETIN: Woman! Where is my--

WOMAN WITH 40' TALL STEAM-POWERED CLOTHES-WASHING ROBOT THAT DOUBLES AS SIEGE ENGINE: (icily) Yeeeeeeeeesssss?

FIRST CENTURY CRETIN: Errrr... nothing... just... ah... admiring your enormous iron servant. If you, ah, need something... I'll... uh... be over there being quiet.

Random Michelle K Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 1:17:00 PM EDT  

6/10

Wish I'd taken some engineering classes instead of just physics and chemistry and biology....

HEY! How come there weren't any biology questions? Like you're going to survive long in the past without penicillin and pasteurization and...

WendyB_09 Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 2:35:00 PM EDT  

Yeah, 6/10 here, I might get them into the 15th century.

But then if I went back I wouldn't be able to check the weather radar to see if the rain has passed and I can go run my errands...

Nathan Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 9:11:00 PM EDT  

I got 7 right...but I don't know which ones. Guess we'll be taking an awful gamble regardless of which project you put me on.

Carol Elaine Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 7:22:00 PM EDT  

5/10. I can only get you as far as the 15th century. Frankly, I'm surprised I got half right. Wish I knew which half, though.

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