Political Spamfail

>> Friday, October 30, 2009

Dear Ciry-Council-At-Large Candidate Rao,

Hi, can I call you Jay--or is it Jaye? Anyhoo, I got your spam today, the one where you're seeking my support in your bid for one of the at-large seats on Charlotte's Ciry Council. I have to be honest, Jay, or Jaye: although I am registered as an independent voter, and although I know there's a stereotype of independents as leaning conservative, I'm a bleeding-heart liberal who normally votes for Democrats because when you're starving you don't get too picky about scraps, if you know what I mean. It's not like Charlotte has all these Green Party or Social Democrat candidates I could pick from, ha-ha. But I have in fact voted for Republicans before, believe it or not. I'd like to think I'm a big enough guy (and I don't mean around the waist) to vote for a person and not a party and all that.

But I have to be honest about something else: although I consider myself a fairly well-informed citizen and even went to law school, I have never even heard of the Ciry Council. I didn't know Charlotte even had a Ciry Council, which maybe just goes to show how much Charlotte truly has become the world-class city our civic leaders have always aspired to rule own sponge off of live in. At least I hope that's what it means, and that this isn't one of those things where Charlotte started a Ciry Council because Atlanta has one or something, because, y'know, while there are some neat things about Atlanta, it really isn't all that. I think we can do better. I hope that our Ciry Council is part of that evolution. Anyway, maybe you could have someone on your staff send me a flier or something explaining the role and functions of a Ciry Council, because I checked Google and Wikipedia (I'm one of those Internetty guys), and I could not, for the life of me, find any kind of information about Ciry Councils.

The other thing I was wondering if you could help me with is your name. The flier says your name is "Jaye," but the subject line of the e-mail I received from you says your name is "Jay." I guess I shouldn't be particular--I go by my middle name, after all; but then "Jaye Jay Rowe" seems like a bit of an odd name (unlike "J.J. Rowe" would be, but maybe that's what your parents' sense of humor was like). Or maybe "Jaye" is short for "Jay"--well, I guess it would be vice-versa, wouldn't it, ha-ha?

I also noticed, Jay (Jaye?) that this latest e-mail is a "correction." Don't sweat it--I somehow missed your earlier missive, but I'm sure any mistakes it contained were minor.

In the event your e-mail was sent out by somebody who doesn't know how to spell your name and was too lazy to notice he'd misspelled the word "city" in a mass e-mail sent to thousands of registered voters that was intended to correct earlier errors in what I presume was another mass e-mail, I hope I'm not out of line to suggest maybe you fire that guy. Just saying.


Sincerely,
R. Eric VanNewkirk
Standing On The Shoulders
Of Giant Midgets





1 comments:

WendyB_09 Friday, October 30, 2009 at 4:49:00 PM EDT  

...because Atlanta has one or something, because, y'know, while there are some neat things about Atlanta, it really isn't all that.

Watch it buster...Charlotte is just jealous that we are too all that. Happens. We're used to it.

Actually, at the moment most of the city would give you the current City Council, gladly. With a big bow. The council president and a long time member are running for Mayor, along with a few others that materialized when the Mayor's race started up.

Needless to say all the campaign crap is interferring with council duties. Not a happy bunch of campers over there at City Hall. We've already been warned this weekend will be media blitz hell around here.

Mayor has refused to officially endorse any candidate, but it did get out this week that she feels the current front-runner doesn't have the vision to lead the city into next week, let alone the next decade. Alrighty then. The #2 candidate is endorsed by multiple rap & hiphop stars, most of whom don't live in the city, let alone have any connection except they may have attended the Hip Hop Awards here at some point in time. #3 is the current Council president, who is probably the best choice, but probably won't get it because she agreed with the Mayor on some of the budget crunch issues, and besides, she's way too sensible. The rest of the pack, never heard of any of them before now.

And that's even before we get to the race of the candidates running for the office. Sigh... Which shouldn't enter into it but probably will, especially if the current front-runner wins or is forced in the a run-off. But I won't get into that now.

Besides, my pick (#3) is being interviewed right now on the early news.

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