Reading Rogue: FUN ANSWER TIME!

>> Friday, December 04, 2009

I said I'd post the answer to yesterday's quiz sometime today; I started to do it in the comments section but decided to make it a post, and why not?

Sadly, I'm not offering a prize. Sorry. But if I were offering a prize, it would go jointly to Mrs. Bitch and Bitter Twitter Quitter, both of whom correctly chose choice #2 from amongst the four nearly-identically unresponsive "answers" as the one preferred by Mrs. Sarah Palin. This is what Mrs. Palin said was an ideal response to "What is America's role in the world when it comes to global security?"

Yes! America should lead the world in global security. We should be developing our own resources and leveraging our power for good, not apologizing for being the strongest nation in the world....

I left the original "Yes!" out, but you can see it adds absolutely nothing to the answer except a sense that Mrs. Palin is unduly excited by her nonanswer.

I sort of hate to pick on the beauty queen part of Sarah Palin's resume; it seems vaguely sexist somehow. I mean, we all know that beauty pageant contestants really aren't picked for their braininess, but that doesn't mean a pretty person can't be smart or a smart person can't be pretty. But then that's not the only selective pressure, either: it seems to me that a lot of the smart, pretty people I've known have tended to look down at beauty pageants and would have been reluctant to participate in something so focused on superficiality, while a lot of the pretty people I've known who were into that kind of thing seemed, frankly, to coast on their looks--if they were smart, somewhere deep down, it wasn't a resource they were tapping into very often.

I mention all of this only because Mrs. Palin has a tendency to give those beauty-queen-ish answers to questions all the time. You know, they ask a beauty pageant contestant what kind of tree she would be or how she would save orphan seals or how she defines the word "character," and there's a kind of formula response that follows: repeat the question as a statement and then say the subject of the sentence is very important and something that is of widespread concern and that you are personally invested in the subject and are vaguely optimistic. "Orphan seals are very important because orphan seals can be found in many countries and touch the lives of every one of us; I am very concerned by orphan seals and hopeful that a solution to the problems of orphan seals will be solved by communities everywhere." I mean, you don't even have to know what a seal is to give that kind of answer, it could be some kind of gigantic animal that eats trees and shits magical rutabagas and the answer would be just as good.

Which is why those of you who didn't pick the right answer shouldn't be too embarrassed by it--after all, we're all losers on this one. If that old idea that at every single decision point in time the universe splits off into parallel universes is true, there is, out there in the multiverse, a parallel world in which John McCain was elected President Of The United States in 2008 and then choked on an apple chunk during his Inaugural Dinner, making Sarah Palin the President, at which point she quickly had to mobilize to implement a national security policy of leading in global security, developing resources, leveraging our power for good, and not apologizing for being the most powerful nation in the world. How is that working out for them in that parallel 'verse, you might wonder?

How do you think?


Megan Friday, December 4, 2009 at 11:43:00 PM EST  

Man, you are devoted. I did my own version of the book, but I didn't actually READ that crap.

Bitter Twitter Quitter,  Saturday, December 5, 2009 at 1:08:00 AM EST  

So you're thinking we would be proud to know we think like Palin? Yikes!

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