We stand at the dawn of the future of beer...

>> Saturday, July 10, 2010

It's about fucking time someone came up with a practical application for robotics. Other than Robot Wars, I mean (robots messing each other up with drill attachments and saws and mechaical pickaxes and stuff is pretty boss).






Okay, I know what you're thinking. It's one of two things. One: you're thinking that is one badass robot and how can you get one, and can it be programmed to serve other beverages--like, can it mix margaritas and Long Island Iced Teas and maybe mojitos, or is it a specialized device designed exclusively for delivering beer? Or, two: "Hey, I can just get up and get my own beer a lot faster than that dumb robot."

If you thought number one, high five. But if you're in that second camp, well, number one, that robot isn't dumb. You're dumb. Screw you. And, number two, are you just sitting around and a cold beer just "appeared" next to you as if by magic but it isn't really magic and there's a really awesome robot standing next to you that just delivered this delicious, delicious beer and is waiting to bring more delectable beer at your command? No? Didn't think so, loser. The only thing more awesome than having a robot get you a beer would be Alyson Hannigan getting you a beer, and the only thing more awesome than Alyson Hannigan getting you a beer would be Alyson Hannigan sitting next to you while your robot brings you two beers, one for you and one for Alyson. (Aly, I know I haven't mentioned you here in a while, but why haven't you called?)

Now, there may be another subset of you who are thinking, "A robot that can learn to get a beer is also a robot that can learn to KILL ALL HUMANS." You, sir or madam, have an excellent point, and I would love to formulate a response; unfortunately, I cannot do so at this time because I have to get up and get my own goddamn beer.




(H/t Slashdot!)

8 comments:

Jeff Hentosz Saturday, July 10, 2010 at 10:40:00 AM EDT  

What if the robot only brings you, I don't know, Sam's Club Lite? Or O'Doul's? How do you like your shmancy fetchbot now, smart guy?

(Okay, I will allow that if Alyson Hannigan were there it wouldn't matter if the dumb thing brought you cans of Ensure.)

mattw Saturday, July 10, 2010 at 3:30:00 PM EDT  

1. That's pretty awesome.

2. Where's the upgrade so that the robot will go to the store to get the beer if you're out.
2.b. What about just an alert to say you're running low. Then it could be automatically added to a shopping list of some kind.

3. Maybe they could put a picture of Alyson Hannigan on the robot, or program it with her voice to greet you with the beer.

John the Scientist Saturday, July 10, 2010 at 9:13:00 PM EDT  

I think you'd need a second robot to hold down Alyson's husband. Just sayin'. :D

Eric Saturday, July 10, 2010 at 9:55:00 PM EDT  

Yes... we shall have to deal with Mr. Denisof, won't we...? ::schemes::

Tom Sunday, July 11, 2010 at 1:04:00 PM EDT  

Oh, look! A robot meme. How cool.

Barney, uh, I mean, Eric wins.


rolingla: English as spoken by a rolling artifact, like, a robot!

Carol Elaine Sunday, July 11, 2010 at 9:47:00 PM EDT  

I'll help distract Mr. Denisof. Especially if he's all Dark, Scruffy Wesley.

I mean, he's no Tony Head (and really, who is - aside from Tony Head, of course), but he's not bad. Not bad at all...

Eric Sunday, July 11, 2010 at 10:45:00 PM EDT  

I do believe we have a deal, CE: you get Denisof, I get Hannigan: we'll be unstoppable! MWAH! MWAHHA! MWAHHAHAHA!

Jeff Hentosz Monday, July 12, 2010 at 11:13:00 AM EDT  

All right you two. Eyes on the prize, or the robot's gonna bring you shitty bee-er.

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