An open letter to Mr. Robert S. Mueller III and/or Miss Donna Story

>> Saturday, March 12, 2011

Payment Notification From Federal Bureau of Investigation.‏

Robert S. Mueller III


From: Robert S. Mueller III (test@tscambulancies.com)
Sent: Tue 3/08/11 9:01 PM
To:



Federal Bureau of Investigation
Counter-terrorism Division and Cyber Crime Division
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC





Attention Beneficiary,



Records show that you are among one of the individuals and organizations who are yet to receive their overdue payment from overseas which includes those of Lottery/Gambling, Contract and Inheritance. Through our Fraud Monitory Unit we have also noticed that over the past you have been transacting with some impostors and fraudsters who have been impersonating the likes of Prof. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Frank, Anderson, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, Kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule, Dr. Usman Shamsuddeen and some impostors claiming to be The Federal Bureau of Investigation.



The Cyber Crime Division of the FBI gathered information from the Internet Crime Complaint Center (ICCC) formerly known as the Internet Fraud Complaint Center (IFCC) of how some people have lost outrageous sums of money to these impostors. As a result of this we hereby advise you to stop communication with any one not referred to you by us



We have negotiated with the Federal Ministry of Finance that your payment totaling $850,000.00 be released to you via a custom pin based ATM card with a maximum withdrawal limit of $3,000 a day which is powered by Visa Card and can be used anywhere in the world were you see a Visa Card Logo on the Automatic Teller Machine (ATM). We have advised that this should be the only way at which you are to receive your payment because it’s more guaranteed, since over $5 billion was lost on fake check year 2008.



We guarantee 100% receipt of your payment, because we have perfected everything in regards to the release of your $850,000.00 United States Dollars to be 100% risk free and free from any hitches as it’s our duty to protect you. (This is as a result of the mandate from US Government to make sure all debts owed to people which includes Inheritance, Contract, Gambling/Lottery etc are been cleared for the betterment of the current economic status of the nation and its citizens as he bas always believed “Our Time for Change has come” because “Change can happen


To redeem your fund you are hereby advised to contact the ATM Card Center via email for their requirement to proceed and procure your Approval of Payment Warrant and Endorsement of your ATM Release Order on your behalf which will cost you $135 only nothing more and no hidden fees as everything else has been taken cared of by the Federal Government including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $135 only.



Contact Information
Name: Andrew Lamar
Phone: +234 808 254 8308
Email: lamar_andrew@yahoo.cn


Do contact Mr. Andrew Lamar of the ATM Card Center via his contact details above and furnish him with your details as listed below,calling him on his hot line will be faster than to email him:




Your full Name:
Your Address:
Home/Cell Phone:
Occupation:
Age:



On contacting him with your details your files would be updated and he will be sending you the payment information in which you will use in making payment of $135.00 via Western Union Money Transfer for the procurement of your Approval of Payment Warrant and Endorsement of your ATM Release Order. After which the delivery of your ATM card will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay, extra fee or any authority raising eyebrow.



Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package is sent within 24 working hours. Because we are so sure of everything we are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive your ATM CARD Shippment Confirmation within the next 24hrs after you have made the payment for shipping.



Once again we are so sure of you receiving your payment at no any other cost as we have taking it upon our duty to monitor everything in other to cub cyber crime that is perpetrated by those impostors.



Thanks and hope to read from you soon.



ROBERT S. MUELLER,

DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535
TELEPHONE: (202) 324-3000
FAX: (202) 666-5283

Note: Disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM card, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr. Andrew Lamar of the ATM card center who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your payment and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office via the above fax number so we could act upon it immediately. Help stop cyber crime.



FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGAT​ION


From: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (alert@fbi.gov)
Sent: Wed 3/09/11 7:09 AM
To:



Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc
Customers Service Hours / Monday To Saturday
Office Hours Monday to Saturday:
Dear Beneficiary,

Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $850,000.00 due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the current president of Nigeria his Excellency President Good luck Jonathan to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their
Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes. Now how would you like to receive your payment? Because we have two method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to $3,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 4 years time which is 2015. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Even if you do not have a bank account.

Check: To be deposited in your bank for it to be cleared within three working days. Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option and would be mailed to you via UPS. Because we have signed a contract with UPS which should expire by March 20 2011 you will only need to pay $150 instead of $420 saving you $270 So if you pay before March 13, 2011 you save $150 Take note that anyone asking you for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudsters and you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have been in contact with any. Also remember that all you will ever have to spend is $150.00 nothing more! Nothing less! And we guarantee the receipt of your fund to be successfully delivered to you within the next 24hrs after the receipt of payment has been confirmed.

Below are few list of tracking numbers you can track from UPS website to confirm people like you who have received their payment successfully.

Name: Donna L. Vargas: USPS Tracking Number: EO 989 255 511 US (www.usps.com)
Name: Rovenda Elaine Clayton: FEDEX Tracking Number: 873944886796 (www.fedex.com/us)

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government of Nigeria, Thace United Nation and also the FBI and including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $150.

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS: The actual fees for shipping your ATM card is $480 but because UPS have temporarily discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is delivered for international shipping We had to sign contract with them for bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual fee of $420 to $150 nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!

To effect the release of your fund valued at $850,000.00 you are advised to contact our correspondent in Africa the delivery officer James Richard with the information below,

Email: contactjames_2011@yahoo.cn
You are advised to contact him with the informations as stated below:

Your full Name..
Your Address:..............
Home/Cell Phone:..............
Preferred Payment Method (ATM / Cashier Check)

Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package is sent within 24 working hours. Because we are so sure of everything we are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive payment/package within the next 24hrs after you have made the payment for shipping.

Yours sincerely,
Miss Donna Story
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with James Richard of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.


Dear Mr. Mueller and/or Miss Story,

Oh, see, that's just great. Needless to say, I'm confused. And this is why so many people hate the government so much. One day it's "don't talk to anyone except Andrew Lamar and pay $135.00," and then the next day it's, "don't talk to anyone except James Richard and now the cost is $150.00." There's a fifteen dollar increase for no obvious reason, and now you're saying the case has been transferred to Mr. Richard from Mr. Lamar.

It is exactly this kind of waste and inefficiency and redundant, duplicative effort that has resulted in a bloated Federal government and outrageous deficit. It is obvious to me now that this is why the economy is in a slump: if all of us were getting our $850,000.00 ATM cards on time and from one contact person in the FBI, we would all be spending money left and right, walking around with top hats and monocles and pockets full of cash and cigars and calling everybody, "my good man" and "madam." Instead, I'm sure my taxes are paying the salaries of a half dozen people, all of whom are arguing between themselves over who gets to give me my ATM card with my lottery winnings and/or inheritance.

Well I've had enough. I hereby am announcing my intention to reactivate the ostensibly-defunct-since-1976 All-Night Party and to seek their nomination for the Presidency Of The United States in 2012.

As President Of The United States, I will pursue the following items on my agenda:

  1. Robert S. Mueller and Miss Donna Story will be required to get their shit together; hell, we may just fire both of them along with Andrew Lamar and James Richard.

  2. Every man, woman in child in America will be issued an ATM card for $850,000.00, minus a handling fee of $849,999.99. This will be deemed a satisfactory settlement of all lottery and inheritance claims with regards to the FBI.

  3. We will no longer answer phone calls from Nigeria. As far as they're concerned, we aren't at home.

  4. In honor of our party's first Presidential candidate, pants will become completely optional and no person shall be arrested or detained for failing to wear them. Also, for the same reason, we're granting full citizenship and suffrage to ducks, on the off-chance one of them is an extra-dimensional alien who can save us from the nefarious Doctor Bong.


I hope you will vote for me in 2012. You can't do any worse.




Sincerely,
R. Eric VanNewkirk
Standing On The Shoulders Of Giant Midgets



2 comments:

Nathan Saturday, March 12, 2011 at 11:20:00 AM EST  

Ofttimes I like these little rants,
but frankly you've lost me
re: the pants

Have you seen most Ameri-cans
I would not like to see them Sans-

I would not like them in a thong.
Methinks that would be awful wrong.

In boxers some would waggle free.
The sight of that is not for me.

Trousers; they are heaven sent.
You've lost my vote for President.

Eric Sunday, March 13, 2011 at 10:14:00 AM EDT  

That is no way to earn a cabinet post, sir.

-----

(And I've spent the last 24 hours trying to come up with a worthier response, and that was the best I could do. Well played, sir.)

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