An open letter to Dr. George Williams

>> Wednesday, April 27, 2011


Dr. George Williams

From: Dr. George Williams (
Sent: Wed 4/27/11 2:32 AM

Dear Friend,

Please I will like to know if you have hired Attorney John Palmer as your representative towards the collection of your Inheritance with the deposit company. Because am corresponding to the false Email claims I daily receive from Attorney John Palmer. That you have requested and hired his services as your representative Attorney to make the collection of your $1.5Million USD inheritance estate cheque funds collection.

I will not oblige to his request, the reason is because you have not personally notify me about his coming and also after making consultations with the law suit Chamber he claimed he represent. I was told such name do not exist with the law firm either in the past or present. Without wasting much time, I have taken your cheque inheritance collection to the finance ministry to de-activate the Encrypted code been placed on it by your benefactor. All this activity was done by me last week to enable me conclude the final phase of your transaction with the finance ministry.

Meanwhile, I have received response from the Deposits company that they have received your package collection Friday last week at about 14:00 GMT.Because they were the issuing bank deposits company that notify me earlier that you have a package collection consignment for pick up as bestowed in the will document papers of late Rev Father James. Elias who issued you this $1.5Million USD payment cheque in your name. So as the attorney to the deceased I was out-rightly informed about your collections which prompt me to take decisive actions immediately by following what was stated in his will papers.

Once again, I hope and pray you use your Inheritance collection payment as issued to you wisely by investing with it and paying One tenth of it as your tithe to any Red Cross society or orphanage homes near you in helping a soul today.

Furthermore, your compliance towards this E-mail is highly anticipated, to enable the deposit company remit your inheritance payment cheque to you immediately, thank you.

I really want to know your stands on this matter before I pull OFF.

Barrister George Williams.
Legal Consultant on Mortgage Equity and Financial network.

Dear Dr. Williams, you ignorant and deceitful bastard,

You're damn right I hired John Palmer. Haven't heard of him? Well then I'll tell you: he is the meanest, most vicious, most bloodthirsty litigator in the world. To call him a shark doesn't even do it justice, Dr. Williams: John Palmer is like a school of super-intelligent telepathic piranha that acts as a single living creature, a single living creature that acts as if it was made of nothing but lots and lots and lots of sharp, pointy teeth. A composite organism that can flense a fat stupid cow like you, Williams, in seconds,and is still hungry for the sweet, sweet tang of blood.

You're going down, Williams.

I remember the first time I saw Palmer in a courtroom. A group of lazy, dirty orphans was trying to sue a respectable, state-licensed orphanage for various minor matters like putting sawdust in the gruel and not having running water. Some parasitic toddler, couldn't have been more than five unless her growth was as stunted as her character, was up on the witness stand weeping about how she and another group of tow-headed goldbrickers had been given presents donated by the Salvation Army for Christmas one year but had to burn them all for warmth because the superintendent of the orphanage took the prudent conservationist step of having the electricity turned off (I swear, liberals: you do something good for the environment and they still find something to bitch about, like some little brat is too good to wear a moth-eaten sweater patched with old pieces of newspaper). I have to admit the little girl's attorney wasn't ineffective during her direct examination--I almost felt sorry for the child, until I reminded myself that even her own parents hadn't wanted her; sorry, that is, until John Palmer began his cross-examination. By the time he'd finished with the blubbering little fool, she'd confessed to stealing food and socks, breaking into one of the nailed-up bathrooms in the facility and damaging the antique plumbing inside by sawing off a piece of pipe to beat rats with, scorching a corner of the floor by setting fire to a piece of lint during a blizzard, assaulting one of the floor wardens by kicking him in the shins when he broke up a fight between two children over half a can of soup that had somehow found its way into the dormitories, and at least a score of other malfeasances. He not only made her cry, but he taught her to say the f-word and persuaded her to use it multiple times in nearly every sentence, laying the groundwork for a brilliant closing in which he successfully characterized the children as a bunch of foul-mouthed, dirty little liars.

At the end of the trial, not only was the case against his client dismissed, but the children were assessed one million, five hundred thousand dollars in attorney's fees, ordered to write a letter of apology to the court for wasting its time, and charged with various offenses in juvenile court including acts of animal cruelty against the orphanage rats. The orphans' lawyer was immediately disbarred and ordered to be Mr. Palmer's slave for a year and a day (American courts can do that). The jury, incidentally, delivered their verdict for the defense in the form of a standing ovation for Palmer and the judge said in summation that the greatest travesty of all was that little brats could file such frivolous lawsuits in the first place and he was going to give the state legislature a piece of his mind for allowing such matters to waste the time of a brilliant legal mind like John Palmer's.

As soon as he left the courtroom, I naturally joined the throng lined up to retain Mr. Palmer's services; a good thing I acted so quickly, too, as it was shortly after this that Palmer was engaged to represent alleged serial murderer Robert Elroy "The Ladystrangler" Watkins, the case which ended moments after Palmer's opening statement with the prosecutor tearfully apologizing on behalf of the district attorney's office and law enforcement for bringing charges and then shooting himself in front of the jury, after which Palmer became hard to find because his name became a killing word which no other attorney will utter.

What do you think he's going to do to you?

Especially now that you've wasted his time by encrypting the codes and holding the funds hostage until I make some sort of pledge to give my money to orphans or the Red Cross. Dr. Williams, if my late uncle who left me the inheritance wanted the Red Cross to have that money, he wouldn't have embezzled it from them in the first place, and now you tauntingly insist I dishonor his obvious wishes by giving them back ten percent? I won't even give them a receipt. And Mr. Palmer, my attorney, is going to crucify you, Doctor. I mean that literally, not figuratively: he informed me today that he's filed a motion with the court that will allow him to conduct depositions in the middle of a desert while hooded, smelly men slowly nail you to a crosspiece while a leatherclad harlot pours a trail of honey from the nearest anthill to your nether regions (I suspect the orphans' former attorney will be wearing the corset, domino mask and ballet heels, as her term of servitude doesn't expire until mid-August and this is what he usually puts her up to). He expects this motion will be granted (American courts can do that, also). Have fun.

See you in court.


Megan Wednesday, April 27, 2011 at 11:46:00 AM EDT  

What was he thinking, contacting Palmer's client directly? Isn't that against the rules in your country?

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