Dumb quote of the day--maybe you could have rephrased that edition

>> Wednesday, November 30, 2011

You go through life and you believe that you have some people that are friends. And when someone that appears to be a friend turns around and concocts this story, you've got to question, the hundreds of thousands of people that I have met in my life? A hundred thousand people could possibly come out.
-cratering Republican presidential candidate
Herman Cain explains allegations of sexual impropriety
to improbably-named talking head Wolf Blitzer,
as quoted by Libby Copeland, "Herman Cain Decides Which Questions May Be Asked of Herman Cain", Slate,
November 29th, 2011.


Wait, wait, wait. Hang on a second. Herman Cain expects a hundred thousand people to accuse him of sexual harassment and/or consensual extramarital affairs? Wait. Herman Cain expects a hundred thousand people to accuse him of sexual harassment and/or consensual extramarital affairs?

I'm... I'm kind of impressed, actually. Not entirely sure he ought to be running for office, but kind of impressed. Or the word I might be looking for could be "disturbed". I'm kind of disturbed, actually. Disturbed and impressed. Impressed and disturbed.

I mean, okay, maybe he's exaggerating. Maybe he hasn't met "hundred of thousands of people" like he claims. That seems improbable, sure. Maybe it's only tens of thousands of people, and only a few thousand of them are about to accuse him of impropriety. And it's not like he's saying the allegations are true, he's just saying thousands of people might accuse him. So, you know, maybe he just settled out of court with a few hundred of them and it's only a coupla dozen who allegedly have phone records corroborating their affairs.

So it's not like I care all that much what Cain is up to. He's a stunt candidate with zero chance of being nominated by the GOP and it's pretty much a matter of counting down the clock until he officially drops out--but quotes like the one above are pretty amazing, no? I mean, it makes you want to market a t-shirt that says, "I was sexually harassed by Herman Cain and all I got was this lousy t-shirt", not just because that would be sort of funny, but also because, according to Herman Cain, apparently you could sell a lot of them.

The implication is that if Herman Cain were a restaurant, it wouldn't be Godfather's Pizza (ironically enough), it would be McDonald's, what with the scoreboard showing how many customers have been served on the sign and all.

Herman Cain: he's like Disneyland, only gropier.

Anyone who has told you they went to a Herman Cain town hall and said they were touched by the experience... yeah, I guess I misunderstood what they meant, too.

We ought to elect Herman Cain for President just so Bill Clinton has someone to hang out with at Presidential funerals.

Okay, that's all I've got right now. Don't forget to tip your waitress.





6 comments:

vince Wednesday, November 30, 2011 at 9:16:00 AM EST  

Herman Cain: he's like Disneyland, only gropier.

Herman Cain: he's like the TSA, only gropier.

Eric Wednesday, November 30, 2011 at 9:25:00 AM EST  

Dammit, Vince! That's a better line than mine!

Leanright,  Wednesday, November 30, 2011 at 2:09:00 PM EST  

I think we NEED a touchier/feelier president! Perhaps coach Sandusky would like to run?

Eric Wednesday, November 30, 2011 at 2:46:00 PM EST  

Credit where credit's due: good one, Dave.

Megan Wednesday, November 30, 2011 at 3:05:00 PM EST  

I want the media to stop pretending that sexual assault is equal to a consensual sexual relationship.

Warner Wednesday, November 30, 2011 at 3:36:00 PM EST  

A lot of the media seems to feel that non-consensual sex is better than consensual, as in the latter you have a woman, gasp, enjoying herself.

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