An open letter to Buccheri_Sonja and/or E.simeon

>> Tuesday, January 31, 2012

RE: important‏

From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 11:35 AM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)



________________________________
From: Buccheri_Sonja
Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012 7:29 PM
Subject: important

I am E.simeon, a devoted christian. I am in the process of setting up a charity foundation but due to my health condition I would need somebody to help me finish it.So please reply to my email
address for more details: simeon.elizabeth@rogers.com(mailto:simeon.elizabeth@rogers.com)







From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 12:53 AM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important

Just got your message, e., and I completely agree: it's all over but the weeping.

I remember one time we were all watching that thing on the television and how great we thought it was. So, I don't know how you feel about it, but I've been doing some research. The biggest problem so far is that what I can find on various antique sites and so on are all plugged, which means they can't be used. They pour metal in them or something. Also, even if I found one that wasn't, the holes are all too small.






From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 2:17 PM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important


Buccheri, what thing on the television do you mean, my love? I am so hazy sometimes and you know how hard it is for me to catch up when I have been away. And what about the charity foundation?

Please do not weep for me. We will be in a far better place, soon.

Yours In Christ,
Elizabeth






From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 3:41 PM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important

bethm, that dumb cunt *sonja* is talking about that retarded crap we used to watch when we were babies. she si syuch a stuipd bitch. th eonly thing more stipid than her byllshit is tyour fucking whiny come to jesus crap. if heavne means spending the rest of forever with you dumb bitchjes io wopuld rather go to hell. the onlty reason im going along with sonja's stupiod shiot is because i am sickl of your sorrty asses and estpecially you becauise you are NO FUN AND I CAN"T WAIT FOR YOU TO DIE< BITCH!






From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 4:50 PM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important

Buccheri, my sweet love, you should not be so cruel. I love you. Sonja loves you. And you are only being unkind to yourself when you rail at us so. We only want what is best for you and no amount of self-loathing will ever take that away or keep us from loving you.

It is a mystery to me that The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost are three things but one thing. It is Mystery that I fancy I understand more than most, if it is not prideful for me to say so. Buccheri, is it strange that I forgive you in ways I cannot forgive myself? There is something I--something we all must learn there, I think. I love you, my sweet, and I forgive you. God Bless You.


Yours In Christ,
Elizabeth.






From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 6:21 PM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important

FUCK YOU CUINT!!!!!!!!!!!!





From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 7:47 PM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important

FOUND IT!

Did either of you know there even WAS such a thing as circus surplus? It is so awesome! I found a website (hooray, Google!) where they were selling tons of stuff: lion trainer paraphernalia, those big flat round drums they pose the elephants on, eighty pages of clown noses! Eighty pages! Clown noses! Not even wigs or poofy pants, just noses! It was so hard not to max out the credit card buying a tiny car, a dentistry kit for seals, and a ton of rainbow-colored wigs.

I guess what happens is when a circus goes out of business, they have all this stuff and have to auction it off or whatever, and I don't know how they used to do it, but now what they do is they have this site on the web that's like eBay--only it's all circus stuff! I had a ton of old posters in my shopping cart when I remembered what I was there for and probably we wouldn't even get a chance to hardly look at them.

So I went and did a search, and would you believe that they didn't have one, they had five, all of them big enough and everything! I took the last of the money from the inheritance and bought the one that looked like it was in the best shape. It has a red stripe on the front or top or whatever you want to call it, and a big white star on the fat end or bottom or whatever it's called. According to the seller, it can even be used by one person: apparently it belonged to a really small circus that stopped touring twenty years ago and has been on the block that long even though it's in really good shape.

It should be here in a week. The only thing I'm wondering now is, do we want to try the ocean or maybe find someplace in the mountains? I can see the benefits of both, but I'm leaning towards the mountains just because if we go out on an overlook it seems to me like we'd really be looking at a hundred percent chance and not having something go wrong. I would hate to drown, for instance, or get eaten by a shark. And if we went with an overlook, we'd really get the most out of the experience, I mean, think about the distance.

Dr. Galter was really disappointed when I cancelled the appointment. I tried to do it through her secretary but then she got on the phone and tried to talk us out of it. She seemed to think the meds were part of the problem and even asked if this was Buccheri's idea, which makes me wonder how much she and Dr. Phipps have been talking about. But Dr. G. had to admit, the surgery was a last-ditch thing and probably wasn't going to work anyway. She said she was going to leave it on the schedule and she'd call us tomorrow, so if you're in, maybe you shouldn't pick up the phone.






From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 7:55 PM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important

P.S. Buccheri, you should be nicer to e. for a change. At least calm down. Do you even know how you sound when you get like that?






From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 8:35 PM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important


Sonja, you are an angel, and I wish we were all more like you more of the time. You are sweet to try to intercede between Buccheri and I, but I fear you distress yourself for no great cause. Buccheri comes and Buccheri goes, and her hostility is understandable. She has had a raw deal, and we have relied on her too many times with too little consideration.

I hope you have not cancelled our appointment prematurely. Perhaps we should submit to gentle Dr. Galter. She means well. If, by God's Grace, we survive, we will know it is with greater purpose and He means for our charity work to continue. And if we do not, we know it is in His Plan for us to be brought to his side to receive His Love.

But I still have no idea what you are talking about in your earlier letter. We bought something from a circus surplus outlet? That we saw on television when we were young? It almost seems to come to me but then it recedes. And how would such a thing, whatever it is, help us in our plight?

Yours In Christ,
Elizabeth.







From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 10:08 PM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important

You mean you really don't know, e.?

I BOUGHT A CANNON! LIKE THE HUMAN CANNONBALL USES ON TV!






From: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Sent: Tue 1/31/12 11:26 PM
To: Buccheri_Sonja (Buccheri_Sonja@roberts.edu)
Subject: important

see i told you shes retarded





3 comments:

Nick from the O.C.,  Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 4:16:00 PM EST  

I confess I have no earthly idea what the heck was happening in that exchange of emails. It appeared to be a three-way "fishsticks" reply to a phishing expedition. But perhaps that was only the surface appearance....

It was like a tension-filled drug-induced hallucination, actually. Based on what I've read in neuro-biology books, of course.

Warner Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 7:46:00 AM EST  

Rainbow colored wigs? Did my first wife convert again?

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