Vengeance Of Bain

>> Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental, that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane?

This movie, the audience is going to be huge, lot of people are going to see the movie. And it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertainment, the pop-culture crowd. And they’re going to hear 'Bane' in the movie, and they are going to associate Bain. And the thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, not Bain Capital, but Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie--"Oh yeah, I know who that is." There are some people who think it will work.... Others think--"You’re really underestimating the American people who think that will work."
- Rush Limbaugh, as quoted by Paul Farhi,
"Rush Limbaugh claims 'Dark Knight' movie is liberal attack on Romney,
The Washington Post, July 17th, 2012.


He's right, you know.

It surprises me. I never thought I'd agree with Rush Limbaugh, of all people. But the scales have fallen from my eyes and I can see clearly: "Bane" and "Bain" are homophones, and this is an election year, and Hollywood is liberal and The Dark Knight Rises is one of the most hotly-anticipated movies of the year and will be seen by millions. None of these things can possibly be coincidental.

There have been a number of people, of course, who have inevitably challenged the existence of the conspiracy by resorting to mere, perceived, alleged, so-called "facts"; they say that Batman's antagonist, Bane, was created in 1993 for a story arc in which Bruce Wayne had his spine broken. These naysayers--and I can't say whether they're merely blind or how many have them have been bought out or blackmailed into compliance--these denialists could even elaborate, I suppose: they might go so far as to pretend that DC Comics went through a fit in the early '90s of trying to bolster sales with "collectable" miniseries rebooting several top characters, most (in)famously the "Knightfall" and "Death Of Superman" arcs in which their top two characters were crippled or killed, replaced by less-popular surrogates in updated, "hipper" costumes, then brought back almost as if nothing had happened in an ostensibly "unplanned" (yeah, right) New Coke/Coke Classic style fail-and-switch. They might then expand their so-called "history" of the Bane character in context by trying to claim that Dark Knight Rises director/co-writer Christopher Nolan "obviously" chose Bane as the villain of the final chapter in his Batman Trilogy because this is a villain who was specifically created to bring down Batman and bringing down Batman not only will obviously be a crucial plot point in Rises but indeed is a crucial piece of the story arc set up by The Dark Knight and calling back to themes set up in the very first film in the series, Batman Begins (e.g. most obviously, recurring flashbacks of Bruce Wayne's father, Thomas Wayne, asking Bruce why we fall and answering his own question, "So we can learn to pick ourselves up," a line repeated by Bruce's surrogate father and butler, Alfred).

To which I respond, bullshit. How dare these fools have the temerity to resort to historical facts and textual analysis when we are threatened by the possibility a pop cultural moment involving a fictional character who dresses in tights and hits people will be parlayed into an election-rigging piece of mind-altering propaganda? The fact that there is even a vague possibility that someone might see this movie and misunderstand a single repeated word because it sounds like another word people who follow politics have heard of and thus change his vote is far more important than your so-called "facts" and "logic" and "rationality". The Republic is under threat, sirs and madams!

And it's a deep threat.

Because I will give the denialists one inch of ground: the terrifying fact that "Bane" the luchador-masked villain was created in 1993.

Do you see what that means? Do you?!

It means that this goes deeper--it has to. And thus it must tie in to the Great Conspiracy itself, to wit, the Kenyan Socialist agenda to seize control of the United States Of America.

They infiltrated DC Comics.

But now someone might object and say something silly like, "Assuming this ridiculous and absurd claim is somehow true, and an extremely conservative comics artist was somehow willing to go along with creating a villain called 'Bane' just so someone else could make a movie featuring 'Bane' nearly twenty years later... Jesus Christ, I can't believe I'm even asking this question.... Fuck. Okay, assuming all that is true... I can't even keep a straight face. The fact we're having this conversation makes me feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the IQ this morning. Okay. Deep breath. Assuming this pathetic and ridiculous delusion is true, how did they know the 2012 Republican presidential presumptive nominee would be a guy who worked at a place called 'Bain Capital'? I cannot believe I'm even having this conversation. Forget it. Don't even try to come up with an answer."

Ah! But I will come up with an answer. Not just try--the answer is right there in front of us and I've already addressed it in a previous post: Mitt Romney is a Mexican Socialist infiltrator, and the Mexican Socialists must be working with the Kenyan Socialists in a manner yet to be fully understood (although knowing the relationship exists is the first step in untangling the web of lies and deception).

It's just that simple.

I mean, think about it: although Mitt Romney is supposedly an "experienced" politician who has run several political campaigns and been "successfully" elected to political office, and is the product of a political and business dynasty, nevertheless his campaign thus far has been typified by gaffes and embarrassing revelations, and asinine missteps like refusing to release tax documents. He was very nearly defeated during the primaries by a man on a book tour and a guy whose name has become synonymous online with the residue from anal sex. He faced serious primary challenges from Rick Perry and Herman Cain, two guys who are one Stooge short of a successful vaudeville act and film franchise. And he still faces a not-negligible-albeit-quixotic nomination challenge from a guy who looks and sounds a lot like Ross Perot's mentally unhinged, lives-in-a-backyard-bunker cousin. Sometimes he makes desultory attempts to prove he's not a robot, at which times he mostly manages to come off like a character in another movie starring Christian Bale, Patrick Bateman (note: if Mitt Romney wants to play you his favorite Huey Lewis song, comment upon the lateness of the hour, make a quick excuse ("I must shampoo my dog.") and leave town).

Does this sound like a competent political candidate?

Or does this sound like a fall guy? A stooge? A sacrificial lamb? A patsy designed to take a fall so the "right" guy can win the election?

That's right: Mitt Romney went to work for Bain Capital because his Mexican handlers knew another division would be setting up Bane The Batman Crippler, all with an eye on making sure the Kenyans' operative would get reelected in 2012. That's how far the rabbithole goes down, boys and girls. This goes back. Back to the CIA creating AIDS, back to Richard Nixon on the grassy knoll, back to Soviet infiltrators crashing their spyplane in New Mexico in 1947. That's right: I'm saying this involves the infamous Kenya/Mexico/Nixon/Soviet Axis, that's how serious this shit is.

You can laugh if you want. See if you're laughing when we're all speaking Swahili, or the other official language of Kenya. Maybe you think it's funny now. Just wait. Just you wait and see. This is some bad shit going down.





(A lifted corner of la máscara to Chez at Deus Ex Malcontent.)



2 comments:

Nathan Wednesday, July 18, 2012 at 12:17:00 PM EDT  

I don't know if you saw it or not, but the reason Hilary Clinton was protested in Egypt recently is because a lot of people there -- convinced by American rightwing bloggers -- are absolutely sure that Obama is secretly responsible for the Muslim Brotherhood winning the election there. I'm not sure who they'll protest in the Bain/Bane contretemps.

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