Best of SOTSOGM: Five stages of The Phantom Menace

>> Thursday, November 15, 2012


I've gotten to where I have a hard time plumbing the depths of my disappointment in what Star Wars turned into.  I'm not trying to get into some kind of silly "George Lucas ruined my childhood" nonsense with that--lots and lots of other things ruined my childhood, but let's not get into that.  It's just that Star Wars was something I treasured and adored, and now it's just something I know about and sometimes think fondly of, but without the real emotional connection I had to it a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

I went all Kübler-Ross on the prequel trilogy back on August 6th, 2009. 





I: Denial

1999, outside the theater: "That... that was pretty good, right? Yeah! Yeah it was! That was great! Awesome! I'm buying the soundtrack on the way back to the house!"


II: Anger

2001, arguing with friends over dinner: "It's good! It has its moments! I mean, it wasn't made for us, anyway! We were little kids when the first one came out, and this one was made for our kids! Fuck you! It does what it sets out to do! It's not that bad, so just shut the hell up, already!"


III: Bargaining

2002, after seeing Attack Of The Clones: "I'll concede that Phantom Menace could have been better. Lucas was kind of rusty after a long time away from the camera. Even so, you have to admit Phantom Menace has its moments--the lightsaber battles are pretty cool, the podracing sequence is awesome. Someone did this "Phantom edit" version where they cut out Jar-Jar Binks and most of the kid's dialogue, and I heard it was pretty good. Anyway, Attack Of The Clones is a lot better, I think it's better than Jedi; you have to admit it's pretty good."


IV: Depression

2005, after seeing Revenge Of The Sith: That... that's what I waited for for so long...? I shoulda known after Phantom Menace... I... I shoulda known....


V: Acceptance

2009, after finally giving in and purchasing the prequel trilogy on DVD, while watching Phantom Menace again in its entirety for the first time in ten years: "This is just awful. This is just fucking terrible."


2 comments:

Shawn Powers Thursday, November 15, 2012 at 8:51:00 AM EST  

Me-sa think... [no, nevermind. I don't have the strength.]

Carol Elaine Thursday, November 15, 2012 at 12:25:00 PM EST  

This is why I'm thankful that I was never a huge Star Wars fan, even though the original had my adored Peter Freakin' Cushing and I knew Mark Hamill's brother in '80-'81 (Pat played my romantic interest in the first play I was ever in).

Yeah, Star Trek has had some issues over the years, but I never felt like the creator ruined my childhood.

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